It Gets More Insane Around Here Every Single Day
by ChroniclerOfInsanity
Summary: -A series of short stories based on either themes I thought to write myself, or themes given to me by a friend- In a nutshell, the things that the Organization goes through on a daily basis between missions. All references copy written to their owners.
1. Chapter 1 The Thrill of the Chase

"I'm not going to go into details, sir," Xemnas read aloud, scanning the latest report. "It involved Xigbar. And rum."

The Superior sighed. Well, **that** would explain why the freeshooter was running-- no, check that-- streaking across the castle ceiling. At this point there were two options... One: wait for number II to run out of steam. Like all people under the influence of liquor, he would eventually tire himself out.

_Or I could try and talk him down from the ceiling,_ Xemnas thought. _Either way, I need to at least find out where he is._

Venturing out in the hallway, he was quickly assaulted by a black and white ponytail as it sped by, still vigorously attached to its owner.

"WHEEEEEEE!!"

Hoping that the latter might be successful, Xemnas decided to call on him before he disappeared out of sight at the end of the hall's two way junction.

"Xigbar!"

To his surprise, the freeshooter skidded to a halt.

"Yo," he said, a tipsy smile gracing his features. Even drunk, Xemnas had to admit, he was cute. **Very **cute. And even he had to admit that his second in command had a very attractive figure.

"Come down here," he commanded, though the voice was gentle.

The Freeshooter's head tilted crazily as he regarded the silver haired man with his good eye.

"Why?"

"I want to talk to you," came the reply. "Please."

"You'll have to catch me first!!" Xigbar cackled, taking off again.

Xemnas chuckled giving chase... the light in the freeshooter's eyes told him all he needed to know. The man was sobering up, and was more willing to play than anything else. And if the Superior wanted him... he'd have to work for it.

Well... he always **did** like a challenge.


	2. Chapter 2 How Much is Too Much?

"Okay, **that** is one creepy-looking house."

The freeshooter exchanged glances with the lancer.

"It certainly isn't the kind that would be featured on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens, now is it?" Xaldin commented drily, regarding the towering monolith of wood, metal, and glass with unimpressed eyes.

"Not at all, man," Xigbar replied. "Not at all."

Number III brushed off his hands in a gesture of finality.

"Well, are we going in?"

A single eye fixated itself on the dreadlocked man, unmitigated incredulity dancing in it.

"Are you out of your mind?! There's no telling what the hell's in there. It could be haunted or something."

"Well, it isn't like we can get off the island, Xigbar," Number III said in a matter-of-fact tone. "The only place to go is forward."

"There is **NO WAY** I'm going in that house, dude. You go in."

Silence. Then --

"By myself?"

A smirk took the place of the unnerved expression that had dominated Number II's face up until now.

"Having second thoughts, oh fearless leader?"

"Oh, Shut up, Xigbar." The voice was tense, slightly edged by nerves, though his face did not follow suit. "I'm just trying to figure out the best course of action.

"Suuuure you are, Xally," his partner replied in an unconvinced tone. "Sure you are. Admit it, the place creeps you out just as much as I do."

"Well," a clipped voice retorted, "If you are so dead set against us going in, then tell me, how else are we supposed to get away. Portals don't work here, the boat we came over on sank three-quarters of the way in, and we had to swim the rest of the way. There literally is NO POSSIBLE WAY to get off this island unless we find it in there. "

"All right! All right! We'll go. " The freeshooter gave an exasperated sigh as the two began their approach towards the house. "But we both go in together. That way if we die, we die together. Damn… This kind of shit never happened to Robinson Crusoe…"

"Need I remind you," Xaldin deadpanned, "Robinson Crusoe wasn't a nobody."

"… Smart ass."

As the two men disappeared inside the house, the door slammed shut behind them. This was only the beginning…

-Two Hours Later-

"Dude, I swear, we've been down this hallway before."

Xaldin shook his head as the freeshooter looked around, an uncharacteristically nervous expression written all over his features.  
"You've been saying that the past 15 minutes, Xigbar," he muttered. "This can't be the same hallway, we just took two corridors away from it. They probably all look alike in this dim light."

"But we just passed the same blood stain on the same side of the wall for the fifth time! We're going in cir-"

Before Xigbar could finish the sentence, Xaldin had cut him off. "Do you hear that?"

"Dude if you're trying to be funny--," II growled.

"I'm not. I hear something. Listen." This time it was Xaldin's turn to look around, and the nervous expression on his face was NOT making Xigbar feel any better about the situation.

"This is getting a little creepier than I would care for, Xal," Xigbar admitted.

The Lancer nodded in agreement.

"Let's get out of here."

"If we can," Xigbar replied uneasily. " I'm telling you, this house is out to get us."

"How can a house be out to get a person, Xigbar—this way."

He rounded the corner into another hallway when he stopped again.

"I hear something again, " he said, tensing.

"I hear it too," Xigbar affirmed, looking around. "It's getting closer."

True to his words, the sound was getting closer, and louder. The two men tensed, ready for anything.

Or at least they thought they were when the door to the room flew open.

"Guys?"

The air immediately filled with startled shouts as both II and III whirled to face the intruder, controllers dropping to the floor. Light filled the room as Roxas stood in the doorway, watching them panting from exertion, adrenaline still pumping through their frames.

"Guys, relax," the younger nobody said, putting his hands up in a gesture of I-come-in-peace-don't-shoot-me please. "It's just me. I promise I'm not gonna suck your blood or eat your brains, okay? Came to tell you dinner's ready. Xemnas wants all of us downstairs in ten."

Two tandem sighs of relief came as an answer before Number III spoke.

"We'll be down in a minute or two."

Xigbar nodded also, expression turning from one of ease, to a sheepish grin as he turned off the game system unmindful of the fact that neither one of them had even bothered to save their progress. "Thanks, Rox."

Roxas smiled, shaking his head, turning to go downstairs.

"Maybe you two shouldn't play survival horror games before dinner anymore."


End file.
